THEINSPIRING.

Chanel Iman. A really great young model, with a very unique look and has done a lot of incredible work. Your something to look up to, keep up the great work.

I HATE BEING THE BLAME FOR EVERYTHING.

People tend to make me feel like everythings my fault, that everything that goes wrong is based around me. Yeah i'm human and we make mistakes, but it takes two. So fuck everyone who's made me feel like nothing and thats straight from the heart. I've been told by so many more people that I have greatness ahead of me. But of course there's that one asshole that doesn't like to see you happy. So again fuck you. Excuse my choice of words, but i'm here to speak my mind and i'm not holding my tongue. I don't like grudges, but i never forgive those who put me down. Who are you to tell me that i'm nothing ? Who are you to point out everything i've ever done wrong ? Who are you to name every flaw ? And then, people throw the problems at my numerously. I'm fed up with half the shit I take from people, and i'm not always straightforward about it but it builds up inside of me. You must not understand, the feeling that you get when someone says your nothing hurts a lot. The closest people to you are the first ones tear you down. I'm done with all of that, i've been distancing myself from those people and its a sad thing. I'm not one to point out everyone elses problems, and i wouldn't like it done to me.

Eminem.
" Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records -
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too "

HELLOO ' 09 :D

2008 ? A pretty ohkay year , beginning of a lot for me "/ Lmfao. But thats now in the past, and a new year has begin . Everyones saying things like " New Year , New Me , New Style " and I never really understood the concept behind that . If you weren't happy with yourself before it shouldn't take a new year for you to realize that. To begin with, no ones perfect and thats just a fact of life . Theres only so much of a change we can make, and half the people that talk about such a drastic change stay the same. The new year for me is just another day , and a new amount of experiences to come along with it. But I refuse to change myself; everyone knows me for who I already am and apparently enough people appreciate it. I won't change for anyone, or anyday in this case. I'm excited for 2009 and thanks to all you guys who created memories in 2008 with me. Heres another year for more memories to make with all you amazing people :D Happy New yearsssss .

And I wish you knew, the feelings so strong but the bewilderment is much stronger. We shouldn't fear love, but when our minds speak to our hearts we don't know where we stand. The act of nonchalantness is the only way we know to act, The only way that guarantees us the placement we hold. The changes are faint; we can gain so much and lose so much more. Questionable words and their meanings, yet its everything we ever wanted to hear. Prides a bitch, she holds you back. And whoever said ignorance is bliss twisted the truth. Ignorance is confusion, whereas knowledge is a let down. I let myself down, you let me down, along with the next bitch. Jealousy sets in and tears you apart, which is sad but true. In reality we don't always get what we want and we cope with it , but the inner yearning continues to speak to us .

" If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes. "

" The most hypocritical thing I've ever heard , God hate homosexual ? How do you teach that God loves everyone and then say some shit like that . And that's what I heard coming off the train today . A man on a microphone handing out manuals saying whatever, telling us that God hates homosexuals . If I was God , I'd personally hate you for saying something like that . Did God call this man and tell him , hey mister " preach " about how much I hate homosexuals . Your fucking gay yourself to even waste your time . And this is why I don't go to Church . I feel so uncomfortable there , like everyones looking down and talking about everyone . Church is filled with some of the worst people . If you were so spiritual , you'd actually follow the word that your teaching . People that are overly religious bug me out . I feel like I can't be myself around them , I have to watch everything I say , and I'm limited to doing half the shit I would regularly do . So when people ask me about church , theres you answer , not a place I like to be . I had a few people look down on me for not going to church . Why can't I pray in my own home ? Why must I be in a room full of people crying and being dramatic just to have my connection with God ? It really bothers me that people think like that . I believe in God , and everything that comes along with it but why does it bother the next person that I would like to spend my Sunday elsewhere ? Sickening .

ehhhhhhhhhh . . .

I decided to start over , lol . I didn't really like it the first time , but enjoy it (: And so here we go again . . .

the fast lane ,

" Slow down, everyone. Your moving too fast. "

But really, what happened to the good old days ? Everyone was just friends, we can chill and tell each other everything . Now everyones got feelings for each other and want relationships. The friendship circle is breaking, feelings are being hurt . Everyones not sure what to do at a time like this . But me, I'm stuck. Really guys, your moving too fast . Bringing it back about 10 years, boys had cooties . Kissing was the most disgusting thing ever. Girls on one side of the room, boys on the other. I liked it that way, when your only worry was missing a crayon from the box, or not remember the 12th letter of your ABC's . But then we grow up and everything changes . Shit gets serious , feelings change , attitudes worsen , we become more complex . And thats where you and I are today , but how do we deal with it ? We just live .